January 2012
1 post
December 2011
4 posts
oh, i always thought lol meant lots of love.
– dad
i say merry christmas to everyone. i don’t give a s**t
– bob (who knew he was so hostile?)
1 tag
i had a dream i can buy my way to heaven
when i awoke, i spent that on a...
– kanye
a compliment that went over my head
tony: larry says she's like radar from mash
lou: oh, she's better
October 2011
2 posts
2 tags
a world without love is a deadly place
– helen fisher
1 tag
not to be a tiger mom, but amy was the first one to swat at a bubble
– chris on “up all night”
September 2011
2 posts
john wayne died with 40 lbs of poop in his colon
– my nutritionist stressing the importance of a cleanse
it’s more important to be the most interesting person in the room than the...
– bethenny frankel
August 2011
1 post
June 2011
1 post
May 2011
2 posts
1 tag
somebody bought me a snuggie as a joke gift. ha! joke’s on you, i like it
– tosh (who’s on fire tonight)
1 tag
picture baby jesus, but with better abs
– daniel tosh on if brad pitt and david beckham had a baby
April 2011
2 posts
3 tags
well i wanted something better, man
i wished for something new
well i wanted...
March 2011
2 posts
Tumbling Thru: Google Acquires Next New Networks →
emilgh:
Just in time, too. The company did 2,000,000,000.00 views last month, in the shortest month of the year. That’s 2 BILLION in February of 2011. It’s also been EBITDA positive for the past 6 months…
But how did it all begin?
“Holy shit! People are actually watching video podcasts! Our video…
cheers to my friends and former colleagues at next new networks. thanks for the shout...
February 2011
1 post
January 2011
5 posts
1 tag
me: excuse me, do you have this in a large?
salesgirl: yes, but i think that'll be too big on you.
me: where is your manager? you deserve a promotion.
1 tag
every loss leads you to a gain, and every no takes you that much closer to a yes
– suze orman
1 tag
December 2010
7 posts
1 tag
dolls, there’s only one rule in the intelligent woman’s guide to...
– e. jean carroll
1 tag
i hate bing crosby. he was a horrible person and drunk.
– tina while watching “white christmas”
1 tag
sometimes she gives me the finger
– cat on skyping with tina
1 tag
history has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered...
– bc forbes
October 2010
3 posts
2 tags
the stories that are too personally vulnerable to write are the ones that must...
– via mat kearney
2 tags
my battle study
john says, “if you want more love then why don’t you say so.” - but what if you’ve emotionally checked out of love and the closest thing you got is a tattoo on your wrist? what if you don’t want love? what if you want the opposite of love which in your mind isn’t hate, but indifference? maybe i’ve loved too hard for too long and i’m just tapped out.
September 2010
3 posts
1 tag
we weren’t friends. i don’t even know who you are. congratulations...
– m.h. on random friend requests. Q
August 2010
4 posts
1 tag
i’ll surf the biggest wave for you
– the ups guy
(sometimes the littlest things make you smile)
1 tag
you know, he’s really very nice.
– tina on “the situation”
1 tag
s**t my dad says
dad: "did you hear who died yesterday?"
mom and i (in unison) : "who?"
dad: "the guy who invented cheese doodles."
July 2010
5 posts
1 tag
a truly thankful person can survive challenging times much better than the...
– via @revrunwisdom
1 tag
white people on drake
marisa: "he's not from the ghetto, so don't front."
me: "he's not frontin'"
2 tags
1 tag
i live in my imagination all the time
June 2010
6 posts
1 tag
on rebelling
me: you know that thing in your brain that tells you not to do something?
meg: yeah
me: mine's not working
meg: mine hasn't worked my entire life
1 tag
you’re like the most smiliest person i ever met. every time i see you i...
– george
1 tag
people who rent don’t care anything about the property they’re...
– steve harvey on certain relationships
(i should’ve read his book last year)
he has four sweater vests and they’re argyle and i was like,oh my god,...
– jill on my whole foods soul mate